2014.06.15 Nihilism with Meiko Askara part 1
This is Meiko Askara. You can't see her eyes at all in this set, but trust me, they are beautiful.
I found Meiko randomly on Modelmayhem. She didn't have much of a portfolio at the time, but I sensed some raw talent for me to work with.
At the time these photos were taken, she hadn't filmed any porn scenes yet. She was set to do her first scene in a few days, which I believe was a gangbang. Since then she has also appeared in a few others such as "Ass Hunters 3", or wait, maybe it was "Butt Bombers: Episode 1". If you google her I'm sure you can find it.
Meiko showed up to my place with her manager. She stated many times over email that the guy she was bringing along was her manager and not her boyfriend. I interpreted this to mean that 1) he was her boyfriend and 2) he was actually the one sending the emails. Both are fine. I just want to shoot, I don't care who I'm emailing as long as the girl shows up.
If I have a weird feeling about a model I will sometimes negotiate by saying an escort is OK, but I offer her less money (or no money at all). This has mixed results. I once made that offer to Minnie Scarlet and she promptly blocked me. When negotiating it's hard to know what will hit a nerve. Sometimes simply proposing a trade is enough to make a girl freak out. These are blessings in disguise. If the girl can't even handle negotiations civilly, just imagine how unpleasant she'll be in person.
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She appeared to be very shy, eyes downward, mumbled a lot. At first I wasn't sure that she spoke English. I tried to make some conversation as we started shooting, asking the usual questions: why she got into modeling, was she in school, was she originally from the bay, etc., but I wasn't getting much back.
At one point I stopped shooting and asked her to tell me something that she enjoys doing. I was determined to extract at least one cubic milliliter of personality out of this girl. I found it annoying that someone could have no opinions about anything, take no pleasure in anything, have nothing to say about anything. But as the shoot went on I started to appreciate it as a potentially positive quality. Imagine a person who carries no prejudices with her, no judgement, no beliefs - she simply does not care about anything.
I can't find the reference, but I recall Sasha Grey mentioning existentialism in an interview years ago. To my memory there were a few reactions: those who don't believe that porn actresses can have valid thoughts mocked her, girls who loved the idea of having a philosophical justification for sluttiness idolized her, and guys who were excited at the prospect of having a new excuse to jerk off to her videos loved her.
This feels relevant because Meiko strikes me as a nihilist. She believes in nothing, and I respect her for it.